Monday, July 2, 2007

Banished!

Frederick Church's Twighlight in the Wilderness, 1860

Fearless freinds! WEIRD TIMES, so strange. So, I'm stuck up in the desolate hills of... some... God, I don't know... It's been so long since I've talked to anyone. Well, nobody that could talk back to me. The trees and bushes don't make for much conversation. Coniferous bastards! I could be in New Hampshire, Vermont... Maine..... even Canada. It's beautiful, in a terrifyingly lonely sort of way.

Earlier this June I started working for a posh Northeastern summer camp in the hills of.... I... can't.. remember what state. It had the works -- jet skis, motorboats, full spa, jet packs -- and it was perfect. Perfect... yeah, I really screwed up. Damn this solitude!!(!) Well, I lost paradise and began my torment about eight or so days ago, when I set out with my troop on a hike to Bails Pond.

The campers were having a great time, scooting along on their hoverboards, snapping pictures of cybernetic dear and moose (built and set out into the wilderness by the camp director, Dr. Lars Beckins) with their camera-phones/trouser-hemmers, and laughing all the way. I can still here their joyous laughter ringing in my ears like screeching feedback and wind chimes. About four miles out from Bails pond, on as small stretch of bare trail just above the treeline, we rested and snacked on G.O.R.P. and peanut butter sandwiches. That's when I heard the screeching begin. It started faintly, like the squealing of far off tires, and quickly escalated in pitch and fierceness. A sad, horrifying shadow descended on the troop... I looked to the sky to see a giant black shape swooping down on the boys. If it was a bird... a condor, maybe? Or could it have been one of Dr. Beckins' monstrous mechanical creations? I don't know, and I may never know. Whatever it was, I ran from it, sweaty and weird as Hell. I tumbled down the trail, skampering off into a knoll in the side of the hill, all the while listening to the disgusting shreiking of the boys and the bird.

And I continued running... I couldn't go back to the camp, not with this shame. And so I ran and tumbled along the wild paths and forests of the great Northeast. Crying most of the way, I attempted to avoid settlements and trackers. I'm sure there were trackers, as Dr. Beckins had taken samples of each of the counselors' unique scents for his bloodhounds (mecha-hounds, perhaps?) to follow in case of dissertion. And now I write to you, from a computer console of sorts that I've fashioned out of leaves, dung, and various bones... hoping that someone will hear my plea and rescue me from this lonely Hell of my own creation. God speed, and good luck.

-"danny " (Benjy)

p.s. Sorry, no music this time. But a friendly suggestion: I've been listening to quite a bit of Manu Chao and Rocky Votolato recently, so check those guys out. Manu's Clandestino and Votolato's Makers are fantastic.

11 comments:

Croytaque said...

Manu Chao only did fantastic things, except whith one his first bands. But after, and especially with La Mano Negra (who is undoubtly the french band of the 90's, partly because they were too gods on stage), he never failed. Now, he's singing alone, but he didn't loose his creativity.

Benjy said...

I appreciate your insight, cause to be honest, I don't know jack about the guy

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Evan Moore said...

Hey to all my boys at the Canals. Because of your pretty good publishing on this website I have taken to browsing other blogs hoping for somehting a little more refined. I think I found it. The Bell Toll is only in it's first trimester and has thus far only covered the authors back story. Despite the modest output the little I have read has alredy revolutionized my life. After one paragraph I felt inspired to stop being a zombie to the media. Instead of following what happens to Paris Hilton I have this path month lived a life of quiet meditation. It has even given me the strength to stop taking crystal meth. Ivan Bellikovski is the spiritual leader of our generation. Move over Tony Danza.

P.S. Thanks for the inspiration Benjy.

Flash said...

Find some of the local mushrooms up there in the hills. THEN the trees and bushes will have endless conversations with you, and ye shal be lonely no more.

EdieMusic said...

What an amazing painting and Manu Chao is a fantastic artist!! :)

Anonymous said...

Everyone really important in Harry Potter 7 lives. Harry kills Voldemort and the book ends with him seeing off his children to Hogwarts. Snape always loved Lilly Potter and killed Dumbledore on Albus' orders. People who die are:
Hedwig
Moody
Lupin
Fred Weasly
Tonks
Peter Pettigrew
Dobby
Snape

Christy said...

Oh dear, oh dear. I can picture this scene and I'm trying not to laugh. But it's so hard!

Alex said...

Benjy, I want you to have protected sex with me. Then, instead of cuddling, artificially inseminate me.

Thanks.

Aus said...

Who ruined Harry Potter? Oh, and when does everyone get back?

Corn said...

i need a new post or I will die. I'm back by the way.