The Best Team In The World

Kurtis Blow – Basketball

One of the bookshelves in my bedroom is dedicated to the New Jersey Nets. It’s a remnant of my middle school years, when I was proud to be the only Nets fan in Westport to enjoy the team's rise from perennial loser to king of the tri-state area. Six years later, being the best NBA team in New York/New Jersey/CT is about as exciting a distinction as being the best Rec Intramural team in Fisher/Ware/Riepe (a title the Delicious Corn came within 2 mercy rule losses of securing).

Since I haven’t added to my memorabilia collection in almost a decade, I tend not to pay much attention to it. Over spring break, though, this magazine caught my eye:

There is so much to say about this image that I really don’t know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the simple fact that Todd McCullough is featured on the cover of SLAM (that’s his big, white, Canadian mug right on the “L”). Keep in mind that this is a publication that bills itself as “The ‘In Your Face’ Basketball Monthly Magazine” and includes segments with names such as “Sla – of – the – month.”

Not only is Todd prominently displayed, but the headline “The Best Team In The World” is referring to his team. SLAM is claiming that Todd McCullough is a starter on the best basketball team on Earth, while featuring the likes of AI, KG, Kobe, MJ, Stockton, the other TMac, and Lebron James ON THE SAME COVER. It looks like one of those pictures you’d take home from Bar Mitzvahs where they’d crop your face into a movie poster or the cover of TIME magazine’s “Man of the Year” issue. I honestly think the juxtaposition would be no more striking if Benjy were photoshopped in to replace Todd.

Anyway, I felt like the best team in the world deserved a post on The Canals, and I’ve created a playlist with songs for each player (excluding Keith Van Horn – I only remember him for his high socks and couldn’t think of any musical representation for that, but I’m open to suggestions) and for the Nets as a unit of basketball domination. Once you’ve finished listening to Kurtis Blow’s greatest hit, try these out. They actually happen to be some really good songs.

Rocky Votolato – White Daisy Passing (Todd McCullough)
moe. – Captain America (Jason Kidd)
DJ Danger Mouse – Justify My Thug (Kenyon Martin)
Elbow – Grace Under Pressure (Kerry Kittles)

Josh Rouse – Jersey Clowns
Khia – The Nets, Are Back

-danny